A split between the two needs:
AUTONOMY vs. CONNECTION
Most relational and personal struggles aswell as what relational trauma evokes in us is based on this split.
We feel we have to choose between the one or the other - which we can't, so we find ourselves trapped in the crappy compromise.
Your connection part keeps you safe from loss of connection.
Your autonomous part keeps you safe from the loss of self.
Some relationship 'experts' even tell you that relational skill is making friends with this compromise! 🤢
What if I told you there is a new paradigm, creating a possibility of having yourself AND connection to another being at the same time.
This is what Evolutionary Relating makes possible.
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Photo: Doris Reinholz