Trauma-sensitive relationships must be based on an awareness that we are initially much less free in our actions than we wish and postmodern approaches suggest.
We humans have grown out of the animal kingdom & are not a separate part of nature from our being, the nervous system & our physiology.
Our "hardware" is animalistic.
However, we have the mental capacity to become aware of our instinctive or reactive actions and our initially unconscious drives.
Only this is what ultimately enables independent and self-responsible action.
In an EVOLUTIONARY RELATIONSHIP we are aware of this fact as well as the changeability of needs & try to no longer bring about a socially constructed status, which is then challenged by internal & external pressures anyway.
Instead, we develop a feeling for what is needed again and again for coherence in the relationship & how this can be lived out responsibly.
However, most people perceive increasing frustration & a sense of discord & then quickly attempt to recreate a sense of congruence - using the nervous system's conditioned reactive survival strategies.
In our culture we have not learned to relate to others with our own needs. We mistakenly perceive autonomy and connectedness as two opposite poles.
At the same time, we suppress our emotional impulses and create situations and bad compromises, which then lead to discrepancies in life again in the short term.
In the field of partnerships, it is our job as trauma-sensitive relationship coaches to sensitize people and to accompany them in enabling the fulfillment of their individual and partnership needs together & authentically.
You accompany people to individuality IN an authentic connection.