About 4 ½ years ago I fell in a severely depressive state very spontaneously.
Before, over a few weeks I was watching a couple of documentaries and films about social, ecological and natural issues. I came to the point that we as humanity are f*cked.
Yet having a dominant part in me that seeks grandiosity – my “Special-Me” was severely activated – I remember roaming the streets of my town manically literally for hours trying to figure out, what it would need to make humanity live a more connected and thriving life as a whole. I couldn't sit still.
What left me in despair and with disappointment is realizing that there isn't just all the information out there that could shift things to the better but that there are so many awesome and dedicated organizations, individuals as well as technologies and ideas existent already as well – but still they don't impact the system at large in a way that real big changes happen quickly enough.
Just think about WWF, Greta Thunberg, Edward Snowden et. al. or whoever you want to pick. They have reached huge amounts of people and spread awareness for their individual message widely. But to be honest, would you even notice any change if your weren't told about these people or organizations?
I was profoundly disappointed that still the masses and the whole of our so called civilization seems to move in less than snail pace, in a dangerous and cynical slow motion. No matter what field of responsibility you could pick.
Yes, okay, Germany shut down all nuclear power plants, there are more and more vegan alternatives on the menu, women's rights are more talked about and some cities even banned plastic bags. Awesome!
But I mean really? Is that everything we got?
My ideas went into the extremes trying to think about, what it would need to shift humanity to the better. Maybe acts of violence for reaching even broader masses with sensational events? Being listened to by the states authorities? Having one leader that will guide everyone into a real golden age? Some Batman or Wonder Woman to save us? Some Messiah to save us all?
“Wait a minute!”, it said in me at this point.
I realized that not even the pope, Buddha or the RAF or whoever you want to take as an example had everyone aligned and motivated behind them. You can become as ignorant and megalomaniac even as Hitler and still not convince everyone.
This was the moment my psyche dropped into vast darkness.
The despair was unbearable.
Suddenly everything felt so ridiculous and meaningless that I even developed suicidal tendencies.
Remembering that I (and most others) had exactly the same thoughts already 30 years ago in puberty made it even worse.
At this point I realized two things: 1. there are a f*cking lot of people on this earth.
2. there is no use in waiting for the Messiah.
After all even Batman only ever saved Gotham City.
At this point I want to state that I'm not saying that any of the people, organizations or others mentioned in this text are on the right or wrong track or that I feel that their ideas or ideologies should or shouldn't be supported.
But what I want to point on is that huge shifts are really f*cking hard to make – although there a pioneers and activists that truly give their all.
So while at least I was holding the illusion of finding a cure for everyone and everything within my lifespan, I had to drink a gallon of disillusionment.
Looking back later I could see the broader picture:
The need to be special and really create change as a bypassing of self-worth issues all my life etc.
Rather enduring one massive breakdown of civilization than believing in slow change and successive development.
But still the situation is unsolved. In my interior and my exterior.
It breaks my heart to see where we are at in this world. Destroying nature, having homeless people freezing on the streets, treating and slaughtering animals the way we do, waging wars, having people dying from hunger etc. on a bigger scale.
But also on a smaller scale to see how every single one of us lives their lives:
How we treat our partners, our children and ourselves. How we feed our bodies. How rare we can really stay in the visions and pictures we are painting from our social and relational behavior.
It makes me sad. Sometimes it makes me furious. Other times it almost breaks me because of the apparent helplessness.
What the f*ck people? Have we all resigned?
Did we all give up?
In these days mentioned my business 'Evolutionary Integrity' was born.
I realized that it is not so much about WHERE you put your focus and attention on and WHAT exactly you do to become active!
It's much more important THAT you do it anyway with all your heart – no matter what is important to you.
The world isn't lacking ideas, visions or technologies.
It's lacking momentum and bright burning hearts.
It's lacking every single one of us asking ourselves over and over again what's important right now and how we can enable resources for that.
It's lacking awareness about our patterns and behavior.
And it's lacking self-responsibility.
So I came up with 3 insights and 4 steps.
The 3 insights:
1. You can't do it alone and it can't be done without you (meaning: we are literally in this together).
2. It's not what you do but how you do it (meaning: from where does your momentum come).
3. Just open your eyes to motivate yourself (meaning: creating awareness).
The 4 steps:
1. Be of Integrity.
2. Speak up your truth.
3. Act or boycott accordingly.
4. Motivate yourself and others.
I realized, what humanity needs is not one certain agenda or one way of living.
As much as I might be convinced of something, actually it's valid that someone else sees it differently.
What humanity needs is every one of us looking into the mirror and asking ourselves where we have capacity to do a little better.
This is intentional living. This is Integrity.
I had ex-partners, mothers of my children, my kids themselves, politicians, religious and spiritual leaders, my parents, siblings and neighbors telling me what my Integrity should be and what responsibility is.
But Integrity doesn't work that way!
Integrity is born in your heart and it oozes out into every action you take.
Integrity is expressed through authenticity and from your ever changing wisdom and truth.
Your Integrity has to be fluent. As soon as it gets rigid I'd ask you to question it.
Integrity is not something fixed.
Integrity is not about pressuring yourself to be perfect. It even can be acknowledging that you can't do any better right now.
But owning it.
It can't be named by someone else.
We have to tresure-hunt Integrity everyone in ourselves.
And it can look different not only between everyone but also within yourself over time.
Integrity is the mechanism to express your truth.
Integrity is the skill to express your burning heart.
Integrity is the servant of your unique Love.
Find your field(s) but whatever you do, please take a look out for your hearts truth and develop the Integrity to act accordingly. That's not just making a big difference for you and the people you relate with. This is the key to fundamental change with longevity as I see it.
Since focusing my work on relationships over a decade now I tried to apply what came through me in the dark night of the soul on my work with couples, resolving in the branch of my business called Evolutionary Relationship.
But actually I see Integrity as the key component in anyone and as a non-negotiable prerequisite to increase the pace of cultural development as a whole.
If you read so far I'm grateful and impressed!
The baseline of this is that I truly and deeply believe in the good within every one of us. From time to time it may look different but it's basically Love acting through us. When everyone commits to embody their Integrity, immediately thing will shift the respective field, and on the long run we will have profound changes as a whole.