This one builds on my post from yesterday about the connection between needs, midlife/quaterlife crisis and our nervous system.
While studying and focussing my work on relationships I have to figure out where our impulses for actions come from. And this doesn't just count for relationships.
Every behaviour is infused by a need!
And our nervous system is the build in mechanism to make sure, we get our needs met.
So far so good!
The problem is: our needs change! 🤪
While society expects us to follow a straight forward life path, I trust no one who hasn't had several drastic ruptures in their biography.
Needs awareness is a necessity for intentional living and taking responsibility. It's important for living from integrity.
Take puberty for an example for a major socio-biologal shift of needs:
Speaking for myself I can state that although I totally aligned with what I felt back then, what impulses I followed and what ideology formed in me I didn't have enough awareness to really question and understand what was happening. I couldn't really take responsibility!
And to be honest I guess I wasn't alone in this. It's the norm!
Since we all go through this yet still don't take in account where our impulses - we identify with in our life phases - come from, people lack responsibility, integrity and maybe most of all happiness.
Needs are the impulses for every action we consciously or subconsciously take.
Needs and how fulfilled they are also build the foundation of our identifications - not to say our identity!
Happiness equals having fulfilled needs.
But needs change! And with it our identity!
So we better embrace our personal fluidity to be able to live a life of integrity, happiness and alignment with our (possibly) ever changing impulses.
Evolutionary Relating takes these facts in account and shows you possibilities to live from integrity AND have deep commited connections.